Hi G, I'm glad that you're following the doctors instructions to the letter, even if it's a bit difficult at the beginning. Hopefully it will be completely worth it at the end, and as Sven said, the treatment/cure will checkmate these sleepless nights. I understand your pessimism, especially since your work in suicide prevention, but being more optimistic can help with any difficulties during treatment, after all, on paper you have a 96% chance of cure as Dr James noted.
I think you're doing just fine on the forum, I can't think of anything else that you can do. Best of luck to you.