Bloot wrote
“It was the double whammy of having hep on my mind that led me to dwell on past family experiences that I feel contributed to my drug use and self loathing which led to my hep
But with a holiday i felt heaps better and back to not giving the whole hep or family thing much thought at all – a much better state of mind

I have been virus undetected since week 4 but have felt no different during the treatment at all
I can honestly say I feel no better or no worse than before i started – I was even worried they were placebos initially lol except for the taste
I originally was taking them at night as I thought they could make me nauseous
As they didn’t i changed to mornings so I could drink more water after taking them (a bit dehydrating)

I guess my biggest reflection has been the belief that the hep has overall been a positive in my life
It has forced me to concentrate a lot on my health and wellbeing
i have never actively thought about the complications, only about what i can do to lead a normal healthy life
The only time I have actively thought about a hep death is during tx when i researched how to get my hands on Nembutal in case I do ever need to die on my terms….”

Thank you Bloot for sharing, I certainly relate to the ‘family’ crap that my brother and I were enduring 35+ years ago which led to our self-destructive behaviour.
I too have wondered what is in these Magic Pills – not so much placebo effect – but I’m so used to bad side effects of meds. With this I’m feeling more energetic and less anxious, even remarkably calm and relaxed at times. Being highly suspicious of pharmaceutical companies I actually wondered if they’d slipped in something else

I am grateful too that having Hep C has made me very conscious of my health, I have been very sensitive to lots of foods and chemicals etc, so diet restrictions are the norm. I’ve been concerned about my learned self-medicating behaviours, drinking to deal with depression and anxiety, and family history. So, I’ve made more effort to monitor myself knowing my weaknesses. But, I have often thought about death and would love to think I could do it on my terms, if only we had that sort of control, in some situations we get forewarning and I suppose that’s when you might make a plan.

My father died at 51 yrs from cirrhosis, he hit the bottle hard when my mother left him and harder still when he couldn’t work anymore because he was crippled from arthritis. He’d worked in the family business since he was a kid, hard manual labour with long hours on his feet, it was such a big part of his identity. So bizarre that he was fanatical about health and alternative medicine, wouldn’t touch meds of any kind and couldn’t drag him to a DR. Yet, he drank to self-medicate and worst of all his neighbours found him very ill, kidneys failing, and rushed him to hospital, against his objections.
When I was tracked down and went to see him the hospital staff told us he had cirrhosis and he needed fluid drained etc BUT they told us he would be coming home within a few weeks. No-one told me or my brothers that he wasn’t going to make it.
So we would all go and visit and tell funny stories to cheer him up and then have the nurses come and go mad at us for laughing, because ‘people were sick!’ – you don’t dare laugh in hospital in front of sick people!!!

To get the call that he was dead – I didn’t believe it – I was in shock for a couple of years. I moved back to QLD and would think he was still down ‘home’ and I kept going to call him.
My brothers took it very hard too and spiralled out of control. My younger brother who had lived with his father since mum left, when he was 8 yo, lost his father, his home and himself. He died at 41 yrs, 3 yrs ago, drug misadventure – mysterious circumstances that I will never get answers to. We were so close and I lost a part of myself then.

My other brother, 51 yrs, has cirrhosis and HCV and still drinks, drugs etc. He told me once that he ‘believed’ he was going to die like his father because people (Mum) kept telling him he was just like him. He probably will…
My cousin who was part of the whole youthful drug adventure all those 35 yrs ago, also died at 51 yrs – beaten to death in Cambodia – 4 yrs ago.
So, losses weigh heavily

I stopped drinking before Tx and have continued to but Bloot sure do wish I was there lighting up with you, it’s been quite awhile and I really have always enjoyed a good puff

On a lighter note, Ariel what a hilarious story about the JW’s! OMG! When my father had to retire early, he would sit at the table drinking and it was always a half-way house for my bro’s mates, so plenty of young crew hanging around out the back shed, smoking cones. They would argue over who’s turn it was to go in the house to wash the bong out because no-one wanted to be ‘trapped’ with Dad having a deep philosophical conversation – actually usually a monologue
The JW’s would come around, he couldn’t walk, so he’d yell out for them to come on in, make themselves a cuppa and sit down. They’d become HIS hostages as he’d debate about religion and anything else that arose illy:' />
They would actually have their team come and rescue them to leave – so hilarious because he really enjoyed turning the tables on them!

JOY, What fantastic news for you both test results and a healthier YOU

Always grateful for the sharing here, big EHUGs to you all